No Parents expect to face the baby loss. A roller-coaster of emotions is a normal reaction to the loss. Unexpected death is difficult to process, and the death of a child even more so. Parents are shocked and do not understand what they need to do. Family is disorientated and avoid the topic. It is important that mom’s feelings are recognized, whatever they be. There is no need to condemn her for anger, resentment and other emotions. She needs to go through all the feelings, because they help to cope with grief. You can help the bereaved parent by signposting to BACP counselling.

Grief STAGES

Grief consists of several stages. At first, the person denies what happened. Then comes anger, which can be directed both at oneself and at others. Then depression sets in, when a person realizes that nothing can be fixed. Only after that you can move on to acceptance and understand that life goes on. The next stage is bargaining. A person wonders if something could have been changed. They reflect on how they would have acted in a similar situation. If one of the stages is discouraged, the grief can drag on for years.

It takes strength and courage to ask for counselling help. In the early stages of grief, mothers find it very difficult to voice their experience of loss. They feel guilty and want to be left alone. Family support is very important.

Bereaved parents usually start looking for counselling when they reach the stage of depression. It occurs when they feel it is very difficult to cope on their own. They don’t see the light at the end, and life seems to have lost meaning. The question arises: “Is it normal how I feel and how I behave when others expect something else?”. Also, our society avoids the subject. People think it might hurt the grieving parents more to openly talk about it.

Mothers suffer not only from the loss of a child, but also from the people’s reaction. Sometimes you can hear: “Well, why are you crying, at least you know you can be pregnant.” This is one of the phrases that is not appropriate. The woman needs to understand this herself. People say these things when they do not know how to respond to someone’s pain. It is difficult for others to empathize with the mother. They have not seen the child, and some may not have known about the pregnancy.

Man and woman experience grief differently. This difference can lead to conflict and resentment. In society, there is an unspoken rule that men don’t express emotions. Men don’t cry, so they suppress and bottle all negative emotions. The woman feels her partner is not grieving. This situation intensifies her loneliness and makes her feel overwhelmed by her pain. Talking to professional counsellor can be helpful.

During this difficult grieving time, couples grow apart. It is important to learn to talk openly to each other about everything. Women often say that men are not ready to discuss this topic. Young couples may not yet be able to articulate difficult moments. If the conversation happens, then you need to respect each other’s feelings. 

There are other family members who are also worried. This is not to say that since this did not happen to them, then they don’t worry. Older children also need to be told about what happened. They themselves will feel that something is wrong. You can explain to the child accurately that their brother or sister is no longer there. It is still difficult for the parents. If you have an adult daughter, it is important not to scare her with what is happening. She, too, will someday be a mother.

I see people bravely break free of past limitations. They overcome the pain of early experiences. They start to feel confident in who they really are. This allows them to move towards greater intimacy, wholeness, and resilience…

I’m reminded how significant, powerful and life-altering the counselling work can be.

The important thing to remember is that these adaptations are simply protecting us. They prevent us from feeling or thinking painful things.

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for your Wellbeing

Online therapy provides an accessible avenue for those ensnared by grief. Psychotherapy offers a structured approach to wellbeing, facilitating dialogue and healing. Engaging in talking therapy nurtures resilience, paving a pathway through anxiety and depression.

Encouraging Diversity in Healing

MeaningfulLife Counselling emphasizes the importance of encouraging diversity in healing—recognizing that grief is as unique as the individual. By acknowledging varied cultural backgrounds and experiences, a more personalized and effective therapeutic approach is adopted.

Navigating Life Challenges

The journey through infant loss exemplifies profound transition and life challenges. Parents find themselves grappling with an altered life narrative. In such crucial times, compassionate professionals provide support. This support ensures that grief does not obscure hope and healing.

Contact MeaningfulLife Counselling today to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Contact for free counselling consultation