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Christmas anxiety, depression and the way to cope

Depression at Christmas

woman in green top sitting on chair in front of table with food
  • Intense sadness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
  • Anxiety
  • Low energy
  • Changes in appetites and weight fluctuations

Managing Anxiety over the Holidays

  • A persistent sense of worry, apprehension, or dread
  • Feeling fearful, paranoid and tense
  • Feeling faint, dizzy or light-headed
  • Increased heartbeat or palpitations
a double decker bus is driving down a street with a large angel hanging from the sky

Feeling Stressed at Christmas

a lonely woman sitting on the floor

Here are some of the most significant symptoms of stress:

  • Anxiety, and a constant sense of worry or dread
  • Feeling overwhelmed and as though you have lost control
  • Finding it difficult to make decisions
  • Being restless or unable to sit still down

Coping with Loneliness at Christmas

  • Start a daily gratitude list: Every day, write down five things you are grateful for. They should be things that make you happy. Focusing on the positives can help to lift your mood and put you on course for a more positive long-term mind set
  • Volunteer: Despite what you might think, there is lots going on around your local community at Christmas. You don’t have to be part of a big family to participate. Volunteering in the community, at a homeless shelter or care home for example, is one of the best ways to connect with other people and boost your confidence
  • Be around people: When you’re feeling lonely, making plans can be the most difficult thing to try and do. But as social beings, our self-esteem receives a timely boost when we interact with each other. If you feel able to, put some time in with a friend you really value

Loneliness and Bereavement at Christmas

  • Estrangement, when you’re not in contact with family members. Find support from the estrangement charity Stand Alone.
  • Bereavement, whether it’s recent or if some time has passed. Cruse has more information about coping with grief at Christmas.
  • Fertility problems, miscarriage, or baby loss. Tommy’s has lots of information about baby loss, pregnancy complications and fertility.
  • Divorce, separation, and break-ups, which may affect how much you see loved ones at Christmas. 
  • Health problems, for example if you or someone close to you is unwell. This might mean you need to spend Christmas apart when you’d rather be together.
  • Practical reasons. You may not be able to see people at Christmas because of problems with transport or costs.
  • Plan your time: Fill up your calendar by deciding exactly what you want to do around the festive period and Christmas Day itself. If you don’t feel up to it, don’t feel coerced into celebrating with others.
  • Say “no”: Don’t feel like you must do anything you don’t want to. Your loved ones and family members know what you’ve been through – they will understand
  • Don’t feel guilty: If you do choose to participate in Christmas festivities, don’t feel guilty if you’re enjoying yourself. Think about how your loved one would have wanted you to carry on with your life
  • Ask for help: If you can’t cope with the overwhelming emotions surrounding your bereavement, reach out for support. Confide in a loved one or close friend, or consider reaching out to dedicated support networks such as Samaritans. Support organisation such as Cruse Bereavement Care could also help you
  • Structure your days: Try not to limit yourself to just watching TV. Include some other activities, such as exercise, going for a walk or just going outside. Low-key events, such as a trip to the cinema, can also provide a welcome escape
  • Be kind to yourself: While it may help to be around others, it’s important not to overwhelm yourself with situations where you may feel obliged to be cheerful. Try not to isolate yourself for the whole time but know that it’s ok to put yourself first. Don’t feel like you have to do all that is traditionally expected of you

Coping with Christmas: Tips for Managing your Mental Health

Thankfully, there are things you can do to manage Christmas stress and any of the mental health pressures you are faced with during the Christmas period. It’s important that you don’t bottle it up or attempt to ignore your feelings. Instead, you can put some of these tips in place to help you manage symptoms so you can focus on enjoying yourself.

Everything in moderation

It can be tempting to over-indulge at Christmas, particularly as we navigate our way through spending time largely at home. However, there can be negative side effects from too much excess, such as feeling guilty afterwards, feeling physically bloated and unwell, increased negative emotions from alcohol, which is a depressant, or interference with prescribed medication.

Try to avoid overindulgence, whether you’re home alone or in the company of others – don’t be afraid to politely decline if you’re a guest at someone’s house.

Avoid unhelpful social comparison

If we don’t think we measure up to those we see online, it can have a negative impact on our self-esteem. Social media and consumer advertising can make this worse, leading to feelings of inferiority that damage our mental health. These factors are only exacerbated during Christmas when it becomes the focal point of society.

Try to limit your exposure to social media and television adverts over the Christmas period, focusing on the benefits of family time and any other social events you have going on.

Take a break

Allow yourself to take time out if you find your stress levels rising. You may want to head out for a walk, go out for a coffee or listen to music – whatever will help you to relax or unwind. Of course, we understand that this can be hard to do if you have a lot of responsibilities, so plan your opportunities for breaks in advance. For example, you could arrange with your partner to take the children out for a few hours to give you a break or manage relatives’ expectations by saying that you have planned some downtime.

Have realistic expectations about family gatherings

If you are spending Christmas with your family, the expectation that the festive season is a ‘time for family’ can add further pressure on already strained relationships, particularly among people who don’t see each other often and aren’t used to spending so much time together.

Being realistic about what you can expect from this time will help to avoid disappointment and help you get more out of it. It might also help to avoid a few of those traditional Christmas rows around the dinner table!

Participate in your local community

For some, Christmas can be a time of increased isolation. This loneliness can be particularly painful for those who have suffered bereavements, which many people have struggled with as a result of the pandemic.

If you’ve recently lost a loved one, we understand that it’s likely to feel extremely difficult coping with the first festive season without them. Many organisations offer support at Christmas, so finding out what is available in your local area may provide you with a powerful source of support. Volunteering at one of these events might also be a good way of reducing loneliness and giving you a sense of purpose if you’re spending Christmas alone this year.

Look after yourself

Your calendar might be filling up fast, but try to put some time aside to look after yourself. Exercise, good diet and plenty of quality sleep are as important at Christmas as at any other time of the year.

Shorter daylight hours combined with lack of sunshine can impact negatively on your mood. Many people find themselves staying in the house over the cold Christmas period. However, it’s important that you try and get out at least once a day, even if it’s just for a short walk. These small mood-boosting activities can help keep your mind fresh and focused – and better equipped to deal with any stress that might be around the corner.  

Don’t look back on the past year

As Christmas is the end of the chronological year, people tend to look back on what they have achieved and what they haven’t. If you’re suffering with depression or low self-esteem, there is a real risk that any negative feelings of under-achievement, or the past year not living up to your expectations, are exacerbated. Focus on the positives and set goals you want to achieve in the following year.

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Yevgeniya Morris

1 reply

  1. “Such a refreshing read! 💯 Your thorough approach and expert insights have made this topic so much clearer. Thank you for putting together such a comprehensive guide.”

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