Christmas is a joyful season known for feasting and treasured moments with family and friends. Yet, for those navigating mental health challenges, such as childhood trauma, bereavement this festive period can be an emotional roller-coaster. Mothers dealing with post-natal depression might find it particularly daunting. The hustle of gift shopping can contribute to financial stress. Long, dark cold winter nights add to this stress. These factors exacerbate feelings of burnout and Christmas anxiety. For LGBTQ+ individuals Christmas can bring its own challenges.

It’s important to remember that if the festive period starts to feel overwhelming, you’re definitely not alone. It’s a fact that over 40% of Brits feel stressed during the festive season. On top of that, about 25% are grappling with feelings of anxiety or depression. Participating in psychotherapy or online therapy can be incredibly helpful for your wellbeing, serving as a wonderful tool for self-care. It encourages assertiveness, helping you to establish healthy boundaries and cultivate more fulfilling relationships. These connections include both your relationship with yourself and others, providing a solid foundation during life’s challenges.

A YouGov survey found that one in four individuals feel a decline in their mental health during this time of year. A Mental Health Foundation survey showed that 54% are concerned. They worry about the mental health of their loved ones during the festive season.

Hearing others share their cheerful plans can sometimes heighten feelings of being left out. This is especially true when dealing with loneliness, grief, moving to a new place, or job loss. These emotions can also come up in a difficult relationship, making you feel even more isolated. The holidays can be particularly tough due to challenges like low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Engaging in online therapy, counselling, or psychotherapy can really help. It allows you to work through these complex feelings. You can improve your overall wellbeing and embrace diverse experiences and coping strategies.

Whether you’re facing these challenges for the first time this year or Christmas has always been a tough time, the thought of it approaching can be overwhelming. Tapping into the power of talking therapy can offer great relief in managing these emotional ups and downs. This approach is particularly helpful during life transitions or when tackling life challenges.

Depression at Christmas

Society tells us that Christmas is a time of joy, laughter, cheerfulness, family and celebration. However, for people who struggle with depression, these pressures can increase stress. Constant reminders that you should be happy might worsen the feelings.

Key symptoms of depression include:

• Intense sadness
• Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
• Anxiety
• Low energy
• Changes in appetites and weight fluctuations

These symptoms can be particularly challenging at Christmas. This is when everyone around you seems to be in a good mood. This can make you want to withdraw from other people. Withdrawing can be difficult during a season of goodwill and catch-ups with loved ones, whatever form they take.

A specific type of depression, known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), is also prevalent during this time of year. Also called ‘winter depression’ or ‘winter blues’, SAD occurs mainly in December, January, and February. This happens because people are exposed to less sunlight. It’s estimated that almost a third of people in the UK suffer symptoms of SAD. Depression as a whole has also increased over the last decade. 

Managing Anxiety over the Holidays

Everything seems heightened at Christmas. It is more intense, from the music and lights to the traffic and crowds. All the above is daunting for most people but can be even more intense if you struggle with anxiety.

People with social anxiety disorder may find the prospect of seeing people overwhelming. This can occur in person or over video. If you struggle with panic disorder, you may notice that your panic attacks become more intense. They may also occur more frequently at this time of year. Generalised anxiety disorder affects every 6 in 100 according to recent anxiety stats. It can intensify all of your usual worries during the festive period. You may find that you’re anxious about a wide range of issues. This could mean that you’re unable to relax.

If any of the above seem familiar to you, make sure you’re aware of the anxiety. This awareness allows you to work to minimize them if a triggering event occurs.

Here are some of the most common signs of anxiety to look out for:

• A persistent sense of worry, apprehension, or dread
• Feeling fearful, paranoid and tense
• Feeling faint, dizzy or light-headed
• Increased heartbeat or palpitations

Feeling Stressed at Christmas

There’s no doubt about it; Christmas can be stressful. Cooking, buying presents, and keeping children entertained are just the beginning. Decorating your home and cleaning up after family gatherings add to the pressure. The list of tasks is endless. For people who struggle with chronic stress, this time of year can be overwhelming and exhausting. It’s something that affects women more than men too. YouGov found that 51% of women have found Christmas to be stressful, compared to 35% of men.

You may feel added pressure from financial worries. You might also feel guilty if you can’t afford to buy your children or loved ones the presents they want. Christmas also comes at the end of the year. If you’ve had an especially difficult year, this may add further pressure to buying presents. A tough year might include a job loss or other financial difficulties.

Social media can also play a role in exacerbating your stress during the holiday season. Comparing yourself to others’ seemingly ‘perfect’ Christmas Days can leave you feeling like a failure. You might feel this way for not having the best decorations, tree, food, or presents.

The festive season can be a major catalyst for stress. This is why it’s so important to recognise the symptoms as early as possible.

Here are some of the most significant symptoms of stress:

• Anxiety, and a constant sense of worry or dread
• Feeling overwhelmed and as though you have lost control
• Finding it difficult to make decisions
• Being restless or unable to sit still down

Coping with Loneliness at Christmas

Many of the social pressures of Christmas are fuelled by social media. The perception that we have to have an amazing time can also lead to a sense of emptiness or loneliness. We don’t even have to be on our own to feel these things. Feelings of loneliness and the mental health issues talked about in this article are very heavily linked. Your loneliness may be a symptom of a mental health problem. It may become more serious if you don’t take steps to address it.

There are self-care strategies for loneliness you can put in place to cope with how you’re feeling. Here are a few ideas:

• Start a daily gratitude list: Every day, write down five things you are grateful for. They should be things that make you happy. Focusing on the positives can help to lift your mood and put you on course for a more positive long-term mind set
• Volunteer: Despite what you might think, there is lots going on around your local community at Christmas. You don’t have to be part of a big family to participate. Volunteering in the community, at a homeless shelter or care home for example, is one of the best ways to connect with other people and boost your confidence
• Be around people: When you’re feeling lonely, making plans can be the most difficult thing to try and do. But as social beings, our self-esteem receives a timely boost when we interact with each other. If you feel able to, put some time in with a friend you really value

Loneliness and Bereavement at Christmas

If you’ve suffered a loss in your family, loneliness can combine with grief. This makes Christmas an experience that is endured rather than enjoyed. Even with the support of friends and family around you, it’s natural to feel isolated. Feeling lonely and not wanting to do anything is entirely normal.

Around Christmas time, the constant reminders we see bring back feelings of pain. You see Christmas trees in the windows of neighbors. These, along with special episodes of our favorite TV shows, highlight your loss.

Christmas can be very difficult if we can’t spend it with people we would like to. There are lots of reasons why people may not be around, such as:

• Estrangement, when you’re not in contact with family members. Find support from the estrangement charity Stand Alone.
• Bereavement, whether it’s recent or if some time has passed. Cruse has more information about coping with grief at Christmas.
• Fertility problems, miscarriage, or baby loss. Tommy’s has lots of information about baby loss, pregnancy complications and fertility.
• Divorce, separation, and break-ups, which may affect how much you see loved ones at Christmas. 
• Health problems, for example if you or someone close to you is unwell. This might mean you need to spend Christmas apart when you’d rather be together.
• Practical reasons. You may not be able to see people at Christmas because of problems with transport or costs.

Be it a recent or long-term loss, there are things you can try to incorporate into your Christmas routine that could help you to navigate through an incredibly tough period:

• Plan your time: Fill up your calendar by deciding exactly what you want to do around the festive period and Christmas Day itself. If you don’t feel up to it, don’t feel coerced into celebrating with others.
• Say “no”: Don’t feel like you must do anything you don’t want to. Your loved ones and family members know what you’ve been through – they will understand
• Don’t feel guilty: If you do choose to participate in Christmas festivities, don’t feel guilty if you’re enjoying yourself. Think about how your loved one would have wanted you to carry on with your life
• Ask for help: If you can’t cope with the overwhelming emotions surrounding your bereavement, reach out for support. Confide in a loved one or close friend, or consider reaching out to dedicated support networks such as Samaritans. Support organisation such as Cruse Bereavement Care could also help you
• Structure your days: Try not to limit yourself to just watching TV. Include some other activities, such as exercise, going for a walk or just going outside. Low-key events, such as a trip to the cinema, can also provide a welcome escape
• Be kind to yourself: While it may help to be around others, it’s important not to overwhelm yourself with situations where you may feel obliged to be cheerful. Try not to isolate yourself for the whole time but know that it’s ok to put yourself first. Don’t feel like you have to do all that is traditionally expected of you

Coping with Christmas: Tips for Managing your Mental Health

Thankfully, there are things you can do to manage Christmas stress and any of the mental health pressures you are faced with during the Christmas period. It’s important that you don’t bottle it up or attempt to ignore your feelings. Instead, you can put some of these tips in place to help you manage symptoms so you can focus on enjoying yourself.

Everything in moderation

It can be tempting to over-indulge at Christmas, particularly as we navigate our way through spending time largely at home. However, there can be negative side effects from too much excess, such as feeling guilty afterwards, feeling physically bloated and unwell, increased negative emotions from alcohol, which is a depressant, or interference with prescribed medication.

Try to avoid overindulgence, whether you’re home alone or in the company of others – don’t be afraid to politely decline if you’re a guest at someone’s house.

Avoid unhelpful social comparison

If we don’t think we measure up to those we see online, it can have a negative impact on our self-esteem. Social media and consumer advertising can make this worse, leading to feelings of inferiority that damage our mental health. These factors are only exacerbated during Christmas when it becomes the focal point of society.

Try to limit your exposure to social media and television adverts over the Christmas period, focusing on the benefits of family time and any other social events you have going on.

Take a break

Allow yourself to take time out if you find your stress levels rising. You may want to head out for a walk, go out for a coffee or listen to music – whatever will help you to relax or unwind. Of course, we understand that this can be hard to do if you have a lot of responsibilities, so plan your opportunities for breaks in advance. For example, you could arrange with your partner to take the children out for a few hours to give you a break or manage relatives’ expectations by saying that you have planned some downtime.

Have realistic expectations about family gatherings

If you are spending Christmas with your family, the expectation that the festive season is a ‘time for family’ can add further pressure on already strained relationships, particularly among people who don’t see each other often and aren’t used to spending so much time together.

Being realistic about what you can expect from this time will help to avoid disappointment and help you get more out of it. It might also help to avoid a few of those traditional Christmas rows around the dinner table!

Participate in your local community

For some, Christmas can be a time of increased isolation. This loneliness can be particularly painful for those who have suffered bereavements, which many people have struggled with as a result of the pandemic.

If you’ve recently lost a loved one, we understand that it’s likely to feel extremely difficult coping with the first festive season without them. Many organisations offer support at Christmas, so finding out what is available in your local area may provide you with a powerful source of support. Volunteering at one of these events might also be a good way of reducing loneliness and giving you a sense of purpose if you’re spending Christmas alone this year.

Look after yourself

Your calendar might be filling up fast, but try to put some time aside to look after yourself. Exercise, good diet and plenty of quality sleep are as important at Christmas as at any other time of the year.

Shorter daylight hours combined with lack of sunshine can impact negatively on your mood. Many people find themselves staying in the house over the cold Christmas period. However, it’s important that you try and get out at least once a day, even if it’s just for a short walk. These small mood-boosting activities can help keep your mind fresh and focused – and better equipped to deal with any stress that might be around the corner.  

Don’t look back on the past year

As Christmas is the end of the chronological year, people tend to look back on what they have achieved and what they haven’t. If you’re suffering with depression or low self-esteem, there is a real risk that any negative feelings of under-achievement, or the past year not living up to your expectations, are exacerbated. Focus on the positives and set goals you want to achieve in the following year.

Contact MeaningfulLife Counselling today to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Contact for free counselling consultation

Categories: Blog

Tagged as: anxiety anxious bereavement depression emotional rollercoaster fearfull fears hopelessness intense sadness life changes loneliness lonely loss meaningful meaninglessness selfharm stress stressed worthlessness

Yevgeniya Morris